Reflections on My Birthday Eve

It is 2:30 and the memorial service at Breckenridge is just beginning. I am at home, however, with two sick kids. Evan has a temperature of 102.5 and Mimi has a headache, stomache, and her tonsils "don't feel right." Too bad, I was hoping to get to that service. But I know that I'm right where Mom would want me to be. I've been thinking a lot about Mom--more than usual. I guess it's because I have a birthday looming. Who else would have an elective C-section on Halloween when there were three other kids at home? THAT'S OUR MOM! I have to believe Jean Conway took my big sisters trick-or-treating. Sorry, Dad! Does anyone remember? This is one of those firsts--the first birthday without Mom. I miss her and I love her and I'm so lucky she was mine!

Another Day in Paradise--NOT!

So it all started with a simple trip to VIP Auto for an annual car safety inspection. No big deal, since the car had been in the shop we've used for years for a tune-up about a month ago. No surprises, a good report, and they even thought they had finally found the source of a persistent slow oil leak. So she went back in two weeks ago had had some seals replaced and even got a new timing belt. At 186,000 miles, she deserved one. All was well. I was sitting in the waiting room, when the mechanic came in and said, "Could you come out into the shop." Uh oh. My dear Subaru was up on the rack and there was oil all over the bottom of the engine. "Massive oil leak" was what Stan, my new favorite mechanic, said on the failed inspection sheet, after pointing out a number of errors to me. Apparently our formerly trusted mechanic lost his mind, didn't finish or just did a totally crappy job. When I got the car back, the windshield washer didn't work, and, when I investigated, I found that the electrical connections hadn't been plugged back in. I thought that a little odd, but it was an easy fix. I checked the oil on Monday and it was really, really low, and I thought, "Gee, it's strange that they didn't top up the oil after they worked on the seals." Actually, it was leaking out, though only when the car engine was running, so there wasn't even a pool of oil on the driveway. What a mess, and probably a messy fight with the Subaru shop to come. So then Stan told me that there is no water in the radiator. "What!" I say. After all, the car had just been in for a tune-up, and one presumes they checked the fluid levels. Stan put some coolant in and stuck his latex-gloved finger in the hole (he had his suspicions) and came up with oil on his finger. In the radiator. Major uh oh. Cracked block. Crap! Though he would have  loved to blame it on Out of Town Subaru (since they had recently bad mouthed him to a customer whose car had failed inspection), he said it probably hadn't happened recently. Funny that the car hadn't been overheating, but it hadn't. He gave me some advice on how to approach the fight about the bungled job and then said that I could keep driving the car short distances "until a cop stops you for an out-of-date inspection sticker." He was the bright spot in the day, though I will double check his diagnosis, but not with the Subaru place. And I think I'll get myself a Trac Fone.

Anyway, sorry, I'm in the lottery now, too. Plus I was going to drive down to southern Maine on Saturday to meet Lee to go on our Cape Cod vacation. Going to have to take the bus instead. Well, at least there's a bus. And you almost never see a cop in Brooksville, so seems like I can get back and forth to work until I get things sorted out, presuming, of course, that the massive oil leak gets dealt with successfully. Hmm. Having trouble thinking up any more silver linings.

Hope your day(s) went better than mine!

Snow fer sure!

THEY said snow, and THEY were right. Bit of a white-out driving in, but now the sun is weakly shining through the white sky. I've heard that this is El Nino year, so we'll have our watershed replenished, we hope. It reminds me of wearing our snowsuits under our Halloween costumes, a great look if you are dressed up as a Michelin Man!

Guess Who?

Whose child could this be? Where did she learn to make such faces? Hhmmmm!

SNOW!

Yeah, it was SNOW! I took my car in for a radiator flush & fill this morning, and it turned out to be very timely. As we sat across the street in Whole Foods enjoying a cuppa joe, the rain turned into snow, and the snow lasted for at least 30 minutes! Good thing the sweaters are unpacked, the down comforters are on the beds, and the pilot lights are lit. Snow?!?!?! Poor Buff!

May we learn from the leaves

One leaf left on a branch
and not a sound of sadness
or despair. One leaf left
on a branch and no unhappiness.
One leaf left all by itself
in the air and it does not speak
of loneliness or death.
One leaf and it spends itself
in swaying mildly in the breeze.
- David Ignatow

I've Been De-Vanned

Something wonderful happened on Friday and I have been de-vanned! What a glorious day! I am now the proud owner of a sage green metallic Subaru Forester. I love it. It is a bit of an adjustment moving from my big van to this adorable midsize wagon, but I'm sure within a week I'll be right at home. I think I most miss the ability to threaten my children "One of you is going in the third seat if you don't leave each other alone!" I have gone back to my car roots and I couldn't be happier!

Cheese Ball

I was asked to bring an appetizer to a potluck retirement party for a friend of mine and as I was contemplating what to make, I was seized with a longing for Mom's cheese ball. I don't care how much people turn up their noses at processed cheese spread, but if there's a cheese ball out on the table, it disappears. Same with the Lipton's onion soup dip. I test these two theorems periodically. Anyway I whipped up a cheese ball and had a lovely time imagining Mom carrying out the same actions in her kitchen on Meadowbrook. It was a nice visit. The cheese ball came out right  (as opposed to the time I tried to make it in a food processor and ended up with cheese ball soup), and of course I held some back for personal snacking.

Anyway, I do have some other family recipes that I've stashed away over the years: Mom's pickle recipe, Grandma's chili sauce recipe, a tomato soup recipe that Rita says was actually Betty's, Polynesian Pork. If anyone wants them, let me know. No chocolate mouse-y though. Guess we still need to go through Mom's recipe files some time.

Anyway, eat your cheese ball hearts out.

Well, I think I just figured out how to post. Not to boast. We'll see. You can't believe how long this all takes with dial-up.

So I just sent you all an e-mail about Dad's birthday, thinking it was today, but have just realized from Judith's return e-mail that I have been dating things wrong and it's really tomorrow. Sigh. I may just win that Alzheimer's lottery. But the feelings are there all the time, so it's never really belated. Thanks to you all for your birthday posts. I keep forgetting (ha!ha!) to check the blog, but will try to do better. Judith, I'm the true Luddite in the group, never having been forced to tweet. And I still don't own a microwave.

So, enough. I want to see if this works when I hit post. I just discovered how to post an image and will have to find something worthy.

Birthday Cake

Maria, Evan and I just sang Happy Birthday and had a big piece of cake in honor of Dad.

Happy Birthday!!

Dad:

Hard to believe that you and Mom are gone, but I know you are together (Mom probably puttering in her kitchen while you are out for a quick run). I think of you every day and am thankful for all of the lessons you taught me. Your commitment to honesty and integrity are foremost in my mind when I consider what course of action to take each day. And, of course, every time I see Daniel, I see you in his face and am grateful that I have this constant reminder of you.

I miss you!

Happy Birthday Papa!

Happy Birthday Dad!

I had a typically Ellen Moir moment when I went to get a mum for Dad's birthday. I wanted a colorful orange mum, but all the orange ones were in these awful black pots with printing all around them. What to do...do I spend an extra five bucks to get a more attractive pot that I can put the orange mum in or do I get the purple mum which is in a tasteful terra cotta colored plastic pot? As luck would have it, I found a bright yellow mum in a tasteful pot and decided to get that one although my heart was set on orange. As I was walking out of the store, with my yellow mum in hand, I spotted the orange mum in the tasteful pot on a table outside! With the cashier's blessing, I swapped mums and ended up getting what I really wanted all along. Happy Birthday Dad. Enjoy your orange mum!

Happy Birthday, Papa!

Grave

What do you think of my new glasses
I asked as I stood under a shade tree
before the joined grave of my parents,

and what followed was a long silence
that descended on the rows of the dead
and on the fields and the woods beyond,

one of the one hundred kinds of silence
according to the Chinese belief,
each one distinct from the others,

but the differences being so faint
that only a few special monks
were able to tell one from another.

They make you look very scholarly,
I heard my mother say
once I lay down on the ground

and pressed an ear into the soft grass.
Then I rolled over and pressed
my other ear to the ground,

the ear father likes to speak into,
but he would say nothing,
and I could not find a silence

among the one hundred Chinese silences
that would fit the one he created
even though I was the one

who had just made up the business
of the one hundred Chinese silences-
the Silence of the Night Boat,

and the Silence of the Lotus,
cousin to the Silence of the Temple Bell
only deeper and softer, like petals, at its farthest edges.

Billy Collins, former U.S. Poet Laureate

Me

In case any of you forgot how devilishly handsome I am!

Divine Intervention

I thought I would share with each of you a very amazing event. This past Saturday, I decided to go to Reconciliation (same as Confession). Needless to say, I need to do so!

Anyway, just as I arrived, I noticed a fairly frazzled young lady (young to me; probably in her 30s) with her father and the priest. It was immediately clear that he suffered from Alzheimer's.

After I came out of the confessional, she asked me to sit with him while she went to confession. He turned out to be a gentle man who was clearly very compromised. He was not as far advanced as many, but I couldn't help but see a lot of Dad in him (roughly same age, same politeness, same smiling eyes, etc.). We prayed the Our Father and Hail Mary and had a nice little talk.

I just know that this was God's way of reminding me how special the last days were with Dad. This disease reduces people to a child-like state, but in that state the are so open to grace and such an example of the power of humility and love. I found that true with Dad the last several years as he became gentler and gentler. What a beautiful reminder of how precious family is.

I hope all of you are well. Hope to see you all soon.

All Quiet on the Western Front

Well, I have nothing as meaningful to report as seeing the kids in the wagon and Terry walking with Papa's picture on her back! Thanks to the Ohio Moir girls for remembering that brave man and his honorable struggle. I am just checking in with y'all from the west, watching the aspens turn gold and already having had the first snow up on Santa Fe Baldy. We've been attending Friday night lectures at St. John's College with Cristian. It's quite amazing how he has become so interested in philosophy. He is writing his senior essay on Wittgenstein, I only wish Dad was here to enjoy him, he would have gotten a real kick out of hearing this kid explain a priori knowledge with such enthusiasm! Evelina has her Chinese girl costume all ready for three, count 'em, three different Halloween events. I am spared the cross-dressing experience this year, since I don't work on Saturdays...despite having Rasputin ready to appear in public, complete with a crazy black beard! Maybe we'll have dinner at Candace's house, they always get a bit of a trick or treat crowd! Not that El Barrio would probably recognize Rasputin, they'd probably just think I was blaspheming! I started taking an African dance class on Saturday mornings about a month ago, with a live drum group (Tom, you'd love it and would fit right in!). Most of the dancers are WAY younger than I am, blisters on my feet and sore SORE shoulders from the flailing around of arms, but it's worth a try, since I am so bored with the current exercise routine and ready to expand my horizons. I can't seem to make my hands and feet work together, but most of the people in the group have been doing it for years, so I think I have some time to develop. Edward continues the battle with his headaches, we're trying a detox diet right now, it's not much fun, but he's a stoic. Work is very challenging now, as I am sure it is for everyone, yes, the correction finally came, and boy, are we feeling it! It's a great time to travel for anyone who has the money and the leisure - and WHO would that be? Introduce me! We have finally had to engage in the wide social networking world, against our will, of course, but everyone (who the heck IS this everyone, anyway?) says hotels must Facebook and Twitter and Blog, so away we go. Our blog should be up in November, I think, and we'll see what I can come up with to say, as if everyone who can really write isn't already saying it...job security, eh? I'll end with the note that TIAA-CREF on this end has been mailed to Pellie, so have all waivers, just wish the house was moving, glad I don't have to see old Meadowbrook again, there is some ease in being so far away, even though it also means being far from loved ones. Adios a La Familia Moir!

We Did It!

The Moir Family was well represented at the Memory Walk by Terry, Maria, Evan, and me. The kids took turns riding in the wagon. Evan most enjoyed pulling his sister for the last half-mile of the walk. We had only 2 minor injuries, one skinned knee (Evan) and one bruised knee (Maria) from tripping over the wagon handle. The real casualty of that fall was Maria's apple which skittered across the floor of Tower City. We need to make this an annual event.

The Memory Walk

Tomorow is the Alzheimer's Association's Memory Walk. Unless it is pouring rain, I plan to take my kids and my wagon and take the 2.5 mile walk in memory of Dad. Terry hopes to join me, as well. Anyone wanting to send me a donation in support of my walk is welcome to do so. Make the check out to the Alzheimer's Association. This is a walk we have talked about doing since Dad first went to Homewood. I hope that everything will fall into place and I actually get to do the walk. Exercise seems a good way to honor Dad.